Food, Guilty pleasures, Ramblings, Travel

Guilty Pleasures: Drunken Chinese Buffet

IMG_5267

After a few drinks everything seems like a well thought out idea.

You sit there, surrounded but chafer dishes full of food. The tables are wobbly wood and the seats are some cross between vinyl and plastic.

Order beer. It is the only drink that will drown out your inner voice telling you to go home.

Late night Chinese buffets are by far the furthest thing from a good idea. The warm cream cheese in the crab rangoon, questionable sushi rolls, any sort of chicken or seafood. Don’t get me wrong, it can be done right, and more often than not it is even tasty. It may sound like a solid answer to your drunken gastronomic cravings, but stop there, I warn you. Eating this food while intoxicated is scrumptious but will pull you down a slippery slip of self-loathing and acid reflux.

In the moment things seem fine, you may even get adventurous — are those raw oysters?

It can’t be all bad, right?

I am not bashing all buffets by any means, just saying that most of the time when a place allows you to wheelbarrow heat-lamp-warmed food into your gullet. Well, it is probably going to end badly.

Buffet-style westernized Chinese food is just not for the weak of stomach.

Can you handle it after a night of drinking or not? That is the question. Go find out for yourself.

Advertisements
Standard
Food, Guilty pleasures, Philosophy, Travel

Mezcal Daze

Latin America, it just grabs you by the balls, dude.

Specifically speaking, Guatemala. Antigua, Guatemala.

The city is as hipster as Brooklyn but not as expensive or as pretentious (sorry, New Yorkers).

Everything is extremely straightforward, initially; but from the diverse cuisine to the live music that echoes in the bars and discotechs, it is hard to believe that you are in such a place as Guatemala. Upon arrival it becomes easy to be swept away by the mass amount of, well, nothingness.

But wait! Is that the Golden Arches? And another McDonald’s… And another one… Where am I?

In the midst of riding through the non-traffic-law-having and moderately chaotic streets of Guatemala City you will catch the sights, sounds, and even the smells of this intriguing country. There is everything from diesel exhaust to the exuberantly colorful chicken buses. It is an ease to find bustling markets, and like mentioned above, plenty of fast food joints. But shortly after you leave the city, via the Pan-American Highway, the landscape and diverse topography take hold. Mountains, volcanoes, seedy highway roads with slow moving semi-trucks – distractions all demanding complete human attention.

The ride could be comparable to going through the Appalachian Mountains in the United States – swaying through the curvy and vertical terrain in areas such as Tennessee. That is to say if it wasn’t for the fact that this is Guatemala and the country has an astoundingly unique draw to it.

This is Latin America – possibly at its best.

About an hour from the hustle and bustle of Guatemala City comes the region of Antigua.

Upon arrival the aesthetic scene can be equated to stepping back in time. There are low roofed buildings with cracking paint, a palate of brilliantly colored tiendas, and rough stone streets. Streets that may be as wise as your great grandfather— they’ve seen some stuff, man!

Along with the eclectic mix of locals and tourists it might be an understatement to say a person could get lost here. Hey, don’t take my word for it. Just ask those bearded ex-pats serving up mezcal at the abundance of local bars. While combining modern capitalist refugees and wanders, Antigua may just have you at a loss and feeling rather befuddled; however, this township can quickly feel like home.

At somewhere near 4,000 feet above sea level and surrounded by a few active volcanoes, who wouldn’t want to spend their days in an exquisitely charming municipality like this? I know that if there is a time I don’t come home from work, well, you know where to find me.

Hopelessly lost somewhere trying to horribly dance salsa.

SOCCERTOURNEY

Standard
Food, Guilty pleasures, New York, Philosophy, Travel

Life Begins on the Road

Road trips are full of twist and turns, ups and downs, or even heavy storms.

These factors contribute to the overall outcome of being out on the road. They mold you and teach lessons that can be carried for years to come.

For me, being on the road is home, I feel like I need to be out there somewhere in the world.

So many things have been checked off the bucket list in the last few days: Eating a Philly Cheesesteak in philly, staying in a apartment in West New York, and even staying out consuming libations until four in the morning.

There was food, cooking, vintage wines, craft beers, jazz clubs, enticing conversations, and a list of other things too long to explain.

There is a place between the plane flights and bus rides – a middle ground. Maybe it’s out on the open road or at a grungy dive bar in a foreign land.

This is the place that I exist, the place I’m happiest.

I’m a stranger just walking these city streets and it’s a pleasure to meet you.

 

Standard
Food, Guilty pleasures

Guilty Pleasures: American Chinese Food

In every shopping plaza there is a place. A magical place.

Neon signs, paper menus, and pictures of food, which when ordering in other countries is a no no.

Walking in such an establishment gives a person this sense of euphoria; just knowing-in the words of Bob Marley-that every little thing is going to be alright.

That is, until after an ungodly amount of this sodium rich food is consumed.

The culinary achievements made by these few brave souls, that some may not appreciate as much as others, are somewhat of a staple in every college dorm or 20 somethings apartment.

General Tso’s chicken, wonton soup, crab rangoon, topped off with a little fried rice on the side; and someone could eat for days, or until their heart gives out (I wouldn’t want to go out any other way).

Oh westernized Chinese food.
You get me. Greasy, cheap and easy-the opposite you want from a hooker.
The only “American” comfort food that will make you regret your life choices.

Paired with alcohol, you get the perfect concoction to make you ask questions like; is there a god, what is our purpose, will I find true love? Asking century old questions all while hunched over the porcelain pony.

This is why American Chinese food is a guilty pleasure.

  
 

Standard