Food Review: Wait.. it’s not French?

Classical French cooking may be what an individual ponders upon when thinking of remarkable foods. World-class French Chefs such as: Jacques Pepin, Hubert Keller, Eric Ripert – the list could stretch for eons.

On Thursday night I was invited out to French Folies for a dinner special.

You had me at French food!

Much to everyone’s surprise this was not a French establishment (the first menu item was an empanada).

Needless to say that I was already a bit discouraged, so I did what any other foodie and self-respectable journalist would do, order cocktails.

I assume it is hard to find good help these days – since the one and only bartender switched from drinking water to playing on her smartphone – damn you technology. When she managed to find her way to a bottle of wine there was nothing wrong with her service, but this only happened every fifteen minutes or so.

The same case was with the food. There were slices of French baguettes, my bet is store bought, that were distributed out along with a dollop of butter.

Half of our dinner table obtained their (pork) filet mignon, which happened only about an hour and a half after sitting.

Luckily for me I was already drinking to forget the appalling experience – much like going on a bender to forget the person in high school that broke your heart.

After I consumed a few mojitos, the kitchen finally managed to learn the art of preparing burnt chicken. The chicken special called for a lemon wine sauce but what stood before us on the plate was a brown gravy; much like the “just add water” that your aunt gets at the store for Thanksgiving because she could care less about you.

Additionally, there were some other forgettable and borderline regrettable side items brought table-side. The night wasn’t a complete waste because there was great company, and plenty of material for food jokes.

The excuse was being short staffed in the kitchen but when serving only three menu items for the “special” to fifteen different people, it is no excuse at all. You find someone to cover for the slackers that don’t show up or you simply hold your head up and get through the weeds. There is no reason to over cook chicken and pork that many times – not to mention I still have yet to receive my mashed potatoes.

Never keep potatoes from an Irishman!


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