Some people will tell you to never show others your weaknesses, it makes you vulnerable; I say fuck that. I have looked my demons right in the face and snarled back. Dealing with emotional or mental healh is a very strange, rough, and daunting task. I have suffered from depression and anxiety ever since I was able to ride a bike and probably long before that.
Self-doubt often crept in by way of people I seemed to care about, toxic people, these sort of pessimists just trying to distract you. If you let them in, it’s all over for your emotions. I am not writing this to tell about my life, no. Just a precursor to make you understand; I understand that pain you feel, those sleepless nights, or endless days.
The racing of clutter and noise.
It is what makes us tick, as much as we hate it, we are glad it is there; because, we feel that, without it, we wouldn’t exist.
The truth is we need people, positive people, and no, not just someone to pat your back. You need someone that will push you to the edge of sanity and stand there with you hand in hand. Let people in, let them in your soul; because the only way you can fix these weak parts is from an outer perspective.
Imagine an engineer, he works his whole life on a project. Let’s say this project is a bridge. Well, the design goes up, but soon weak areas in the structure start to surface. The pride of the engineer clouds his opinion on the matter. It will take someone without pride or bias to come in and point out the fallacies of the engineer.
The only way to grow courage and strength is by first seeing your faults and weak points…
This, ladies and gents, can lead to self-doubt.
The engineer now may think that all his work was a sham, that maybe he failed. Self-doubt is normal. We have all felt it, some more than others. We are risk takers and within those risks we are exposed. Self-doubt will eventually lead to change.
You begin to break down the walls of pride. You can start over.
There is a light!
Damn it, run towards that light!
No matter how many times you think you can’t do something; it is the first time, the time you see through new eyes, and in that moment you feel so sure that everything you have done to this point is correct.
Struggles will come and go, there is no doubt in that fact. But the strength to see adversity and overcome it? That must be learned over and over.
Rejection comes in many forms, a rejected lover, a project, a career path, or even just social rejection. In no way is it pleasant; but again, we must learn from these rejections.
They shape who we will become.
I guess this would be a good segway to talk about direction. Without rejection, none could find direction.
In order to go east you must first be told that you are wrong. Someone from the outside has to tell you that you are heading west, north, or south, before you can journey east.
You have just been rejected to the preconceived knowledge that you thought you had about direction. Now that rejection has run its course, it is time. Time to find direction, but without these predecessors (self-doubt and rejection) there is no step forward into the success of your endeavor, what ever it may be.
Me? I can not tell you your direction. Neither, can any man for that matter; but they can point to the flaws in your blueprints, in your ideas, in your ideologies. This helps grow the spots we ourselves never saw as weak.
Without help the engineers bridge would fall, and fall, and fall. One day he may look back and see his flaws; but it’s too late.
Whatever circumstances life throws your way; well, you aren’t alone.
Love is all us humans have.
The love to build each other up.
Not to rip down.
Love is the only thing we have left to give.
And if you ever do feel alone or scared.
Reach out; because, love is out there.