Into The Unknown

This time I have went fully over the edge.

I am for sure not the same man I was three months ago. Personally, I was in an extremely dark place and had been for sometime after the death of my father. Many things left unsaid, many things that will forever be left unsaid.

To say that this trip changed me, enlightened me, or fixed me is a gross fucking understatement. Things happen to you in life at just the exact moment you need them to happen. I’ve spent countless sleepless nights in foreign places, thinking, marinating, escaping.

I’ve learned a lot from these few months on the road. I’ve learned how to love again, how to smile, but most of all, I’ve learned how to let go of a fascination with change. There will always, for better or worse, be change. The best advice I could give to a broken soul is:

Get. Fucking. Lost.

It was the best thing I ever did with my life.

Being a stranger in a strange land—endlessly curious—continues to change me. There is zen found through a blank stare out the bus window as landscapes make way for cityscapes, which tends to be indescribable. A person can find solace in parts of travel, I know this is the case for me. These days it’s inescapable.

My heart beats for the unknown, the uncharted.

I haven’t had much to say or write during these times. Probably won’t for sometime to come. Sometimes you seem so broken that you cannot be fixed.

You can be.

Never stop going forward, and wherever your road takes you, don’t forget to soak it all in.

Until we meet again, in this life or the next.


Throwback Thoughts

I am an addict.

To many things probably, but to travel especially.

I don’t know when my addiction with travel started. I would guess it was long before I knew what travel is or could be.

I used to go traveling out of town with my mother as a child. The hotels and modes of transportation intrigued me. The new faces, sites, and smells propelled me to always be curious.

It was all new.

Travel can be kind to you. It can also be hurtful. Sometimes It was beautiful in the moment; but now just memories. Moving on to the next destination. Sitting on a plane, pondering.

“Maybe some day I’ll return to Colombia,” I think.

I’ll have changed and it will have, too. The many friends I met have helped me along my path. Thinking on it now is bittersweet. I am better for having met these people but part of me hurts because I may never see them again. I guess that is life—the moment is always fleeting, so take advantage of the present. You remember snapshots, segments of what you’ve previously learned. A small section of your life…

The cabin begins to shake. The city lights of Mexico City sprawl out as far as the eyes can see and my plane rapidly descends from the clouds.

The only qualm I have with travel is that it effects you forever. It reworks the way you view and perceive life—along with the world. Once you start you can never go back to who you once were. Every interaction, feeling, or thought for forever is changed.

For me it will be an endless search of enlightenment and knowledge. For me it will be an endless endeavor that I will never quite satisfy.


Viva Colombia

I came to Colombia with nothing and I am leaving something behind.

A whirlwind of emotions were supplied on this venture through the jungle, mountains, and cities. There is no doubt in my mind that Colombia changed me. I don’t know how much or why—but it did.

So many laughs, smiles, and conversations were had. Friendships flourished. Beers drank.

I’m a firm believer in destiny, and Colombia, at this point in my life, was right where I need to be.

I will forever love the country and the people who reside there.

Until we meet again, viva Colombia.


It’s Not All Sunshine and Puppies

For weeks I just haven’t had the words to say. Recounting all of this trip has left me at somewhat of a loss, a standstill. I am a man that has many troubles, as most do, and a lot more to learn.

In and out of alcohol fueled rants I mange to string together enough thoughts and feelings for somewhat of a recollection of this journey. Far from over and far from my final—not yet determined—destination, I’ll leave you with a messy compilation of brain spew…

Medellín, for better or worse, grew on me.

Like anything good, it just can’t last forever. This is not to say it didn’t teach me anything; because what it taught me is more valuable than gold.

The bass hits hard. Everyone around me is probably on some illect substance.

Medellin has, over the years, become a party city. Earned the ranks with the likes of Berlin, Prague along with others. Where someone could fit a minute escape into their everyday life.

For the most part this city, and this country, has a bad reputation. To say it is a party place. Well, that might be insulting. The people are the most friendly I’ve ever encountered. The food is good, and the views—incredible.

I’ve gotten sucked into this city.

She draws me in and grabs hold.

Maybe I have even fallen in love just a little bit but like with any fleeting relationship—I have to move on. This city of eternal spring has taught some important lessons to me over the last two weeks. A lot of inner conflict has been scuffed out here. If I can gather one thing from the time here it is this…

Fuck small talk. Give me intimacy.

Let’s talk about how we feel. Give me raw hard emotions, your opinions, your deepest, darkest fears.

I am way too open but that is what you get with me. It is the person I am. I love too fucking hard and too fucking fast.

I went on this trip to find something I lost, I may not even know what that is; but I am going to find out at some point.

It’s been 21 days since I left the states. 6 or so weeks since I quit my job, and maybe 14 days since I felt completely vulnerable. A shinning shimmer of hope and love came my way — so I rode the wave. I don’t regret a thing. It hurts, but I don’t regret a thing. Sometimes you have to trust people, and oftentimes they let you down. I won’t stop loving.

There are pieces of my heart scattered all around the world at this point. I’ve met so many people and seen so much.

Yet, I think that is what life is about. It’s about showing people what is inside your heart. Being vulnerable to everything life has to offer.

As I follow this path to enlightenment, I know I am not alone. As alone as I may feel when I’m surrounded by people that truly love me, I do know, I am not alone.

Life is pain, but sometimes, with a glimmer of hope. You are happy.

And for that moment, well, that is why we live.

Thank you, Medellin. You showed me things I’ll take to my grave.


Destiny and Timing

Destiny and timing.

At this point I think this journey will be very enlightening to me. This time, I will stay awhile.

Sometimes you just fall head over heels in love with a place the second you step off the plane. Vietnam did that to me and now here in Medellin.

Those were my first impressions before I even got settled into some food, conversation with a fellow traveler, and some rest.

What happened next?

It all started on a metro ride.

Coming back from a market in Medellin a few travelers and I ran across this eccentric character of a man.

He began to speak with us in English and Spanish. The conversation continued, laughs were exchanged, smiles. The moments between a few metros stops will in fact stay with me for the rest of my life.

Next thing we know this man is walking us back to our hostal, explaining things about Colombia on the way, talking of his mother along with where he used to live. He gave us advice on what to do, see, and where to go.

Fast forward. We agreed to meet him at a later time outside of our hostal to get shown around.

I can’t explain to you what happened; because I can not process the joy and energy of this man or what it meant to me and the people I was with. Especially for me at this point in my life. This man wanted our company, and for whatever reason the universe brought him to us, as well as, us to him. The first stop off was a mall where I was more than put off by all the “fast food” until I finally saw some typical Colombian food. I explained my angst towards the whole mall food deal. The fact is, as humans, we need to be more open. The food was enjoyed. There was even ice cream. For a few more hours all four of us talked, joked, and walked through the rainy streets of Medellin until my feet blistered.

Cheers to Jimmy; cheers to all the Jimmys.

The selfless helpers, guiders, and chatters. Strangers who become something so beautiful it is unexplainable with words in any language and immeasurable by any calculations.

The world could sure use more people with an enthusiastic kind of spirit such as his.

Connect with people. Reach out to people. I promise you won’t be disappointed. Showing a little joy and love to your fellow humans will never, ever, not bring yourself inner peace.

Medellin has fully captivated me with its eternal spring, kind souls, and vibrant culture.

Until we meet again, continue to be more like Jimmy. And I’ll leave you with something my mother always tells me.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”


Today, we mourn

The second time I saw the Mediterranean Sea I was the most depressed and lonely I have ever been in my life.

There is a huge struggle when people’s minds outweigh them. Anxiety, depression, and the unknown take hold and don’t let go.

Bourdain was a personal hero of mine.

As I sit here, I can’t help to think what went through his mind when he decided to take his life. My personal problems and demons have always come out when I’m on the road traveling — I tend to let them go.

Will I suffer such a fate?

The world needs people that cross borders and barriers. Break down walls and traditions.

48 hours.

48 hours is all it took to get nestled away in a Colombian jungle hostel, ripping tequila and watching a beer pong tournament.

Fort Lauderdale to Cartagena, a few adult beverages, and busses.

It was like that one movie with the guy from the matrix. Speeding 80 mph up and down mountain roads in an overpacked shuttle bus. Bugs hitting the walls of my bungalow as I try to rest for the night.

Hammock sleeping, rum drinking, river jumping. Possibly smitten.

Let’s break down these walls, not build them. Teach, don’t take away.

Knowledge and love, I hope, can cure the sickness put on the world.

Maybe I’m as crazy as Anthony; possibly as hopeful.

R.I.P. Anthony Bourdain, today I drink to you.

Philosophy, Ramblings, Travel

Why do we travel?

Is it narcissistic? Do we travel for ourselves? Or maybe we set out to find something we’ve always been looking for. No one answer to this question can possibly be correct. 

We travel to enrich something about life. To find purpose, to find meaning, to find center.

The road calls us, and like an addiction, we respond. Jetting off to the next place. 

So why do we travel, Logan?

For someone such as myself, this is life. The People, The culture. It is the stories, memories, and moments shared. It is the smells, tastes, sounds of a new city. It is something you have to find to understand, it is almost existential.

Most people live their lives waiting to live their lives. They miss the present. That is easy to do, yet, it is also easy to breathe in what you are experiencing. 

I’ve said before that we are not meant to plant roots but be free. Free in the moment, free in life. We are supposed to laugh, cry, wander. Going somewhere far from home can bring you peace, this gives you a new sense of what life really can be.

For some, travel isn’t the way. For people like me, well, it is. This life is the only thing I know, the only thing that makes me joyful. So I’ll continue to find new cultures, to eat all I can, and to share with people that I would have never met.

The road calls and I answer. 

Every. Damn. Time… I answer.